Monday, July 20, 2015

Worst Thing Men Ever Invented

There is literally nothing worse than a six pack selfie pic. This just turns me off no matter how vigorous body you got. Yes, I have turn-offs, so? My standards may not be as high as my heels (i only wear flats and flip-flops, but since you keep asking me to use hyperbole, fine, you got it) but hey real men DON'T go around claiming and showing how manly they are. They probably don't have that much time for some internet nonsense. So they won't be on social media in the first place. You won't find them on facebook, twitter, instagram, et cetera because they are probably out being cool somewhere. However they won't spend much money to be accepted. They feel no obligation whatsoever to justify their beliefs, values, convictions, morals et cetera with anyone. They are the real badasses. This badass label can only be determined by the opinions of others, not your own. You won't identify them by their clothing because there is no such thing as badass uniform.

And in case you don't know, the very first rule of being a real man is: you do not talk about being one or showing the world you are one. Period.

If you're one of those "I'm a real man, I blah blah blah..." or "hey look at my athletic body.." then shut the fuck up because you just broke the first rule. You are just a poser. You just been disqualified.

So six pack selfie uploaders (especially the ones with no face), get over yourself. I believe it's none of my fault to judge you are either desperate, has no connections, slightly creepy, or simply idiosyncratic (you decide). You're the one giving me that impression, remember?

And why would someone ONLY post a picture of their body? What happened to their face? Is it somewhat deformed or something? My only prediction is that pic is probably of someone else. Seriously I can assure you, any girl who would fall for that cheap trick is an airhead.

Or do you guys really think girls are THAT dumb? Maybe your just looking for the dumb ones. Oh well.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Interspecies Battle

I'm back. It's pretty late to even stay awake but I can't resist it. I can't resist being awake and doing nothing but focusing my eyes on a gang of filthy arthropodas that are still invading my house. Can't lose sight of them.

Where you think you going, you miniature cowards?

I used to be a nonbeliever of killing insects that aren't even a threat to my survival, but recently I've been warned by some serious tv ads to get equipped when they show off, seeking some attention.

I'm looking at you, roaches.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a peace lover. I do want to live in peace but I don't like that insects being here, and unfortunately this time, I'm going to have to do something about it. Something that's more powerful than screaming.

I thank God they invented Baygon.